tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post9188189408248094677..comments2023-09-21T09:00:05.129-04:00Comments on Tango Therapist's Tango Beat: Rejection: Solutions 7 & 8Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post-70098002898309609812010-05-19T21:03:40.255-04:002010-05-19T21:03:40.255-04:00Señorita Whipple, I maybe can appreciate la Sagron...Señorita Whipple, I maybe can appreciate la Sagrona better now. Perhaps she had tried be nice but that hadn't worked. I still vote for "being nice" and then if that doesn't work to say "thank you" and leave the floor. Have fun in BsAs!Tango Therapisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post-20190750829656529152010-05-18T16:10:42.343-04:002010-05-18T16:10:42.343-04:00As far as Sangrona goes, I've been in embraces...As far as Sangrona goes, I've been in embraces where I've struggled for a bit more room or made a quiet request, it has rarely worked for me. Either the man gets pissed over my suggestion or completely ignores it. Basically I feel that the culture is against saying anything that might be construed as uncomplimentary. I've been too polite to simply walk off the floor before the end of the tanda so I'm stuck. My "thank you very much" line along with "no" for self preservation are high on my tango todo list.<br /><br />Having said that, I very much enjoy your embrace. ;-)<br /><br />I'm still working on saying "no" and grasping the idea that it's not only a good thing to do but actually a kindness. If I'm just not in the mood to dance with someone for any reason then I'm not going to be giving them my best and really should decline.smwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02872985563424976698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post-9359079771852729982010-05-16T22:45:44.579-04:002010-05-16T22:45:44.579-04:00Querida Tanguera anónima, thanks for this wonderfu...Querida Tanguera anónima, thanks for this wonderful feedback. It occurs to me that I really should take a few guys aside whom I really like just to tell them to stop talking and instructing on the dance floor (if they want to dance with anyone who has dancing more than 3 months). I can tell you in part why they do it: Son nerviosos. I did it at one point because I didn't know better and I realized I did it when I was thinking out loud, hoping that she'd get my sloppy leading. I cannot explain why great male dancers do this...just a bad habit they never got over? All I know is that tango has so changed me. I now often do not say a word between songs, like silence between the scherzo and adagio movements. Tango is good for my soul, and I know that you have felt its transformative powers too. That is why you are changing.Tango Therapisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post-51622216543269907002010-05-16T22:21:19.731-04:002010-05-16T22:21:19.731-04:00I've read all your rejection solutions. Just a...I've read all your rejection solutions. Just a bit of feedback. For me, it is equally painful for the woman to "reject" the man. I've only recently gotten to a point where I feel comfortable doing so. I believe that it almost never has anything to do with the way the man dances, but a variety of other factors. Some of my top reasons are: correcting my steps (repeatedly) during a tanda at a milonga, making conversation (repeatedly) during a dance, and, unfortunately, poor hygiene. For many months, I just could not say no to these repeat offenders for fear of causing them one second of doubt or pain. And really- who did I think I was? Saying no to a leader after only dancing a short while? But I got to a point where I decided that I needed to take care of myself. I work really really hard at this dance, and I deserve to enjoy each tanda. But I, just like us all, suffer from those "middle school" insecurities, and do not enjoy telling people no, because Lord knows it's been said to me a million times and it does hurt! I would never, however, say no to someone who's level might be below mine, but who is earnestly and passionately working to improve his dance. I think as a community, we should all work together to- like you say- "build up" those dancers who are passionate and working hard at improvement. I've been blessed to have you,and several other angels do this for me, and I completely intend on paying it forward!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286007268065402678.post-56017476957628390702010-05-15T11:27:03.739-04:002010-05-15T11:27:03.739-04:00Mark, thank you for your gigantic effort to share ...Mark, thank you for your gigantic effort to share your findings with the rest of us. Honestly, I would rather leave my Comme il Fauts at home, but I would never forget to bring the solutions 367 with me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com