Saturday, October 29, 2011

FDA Warnings on Tango

Warning:  Your stage tango may be
hazardous to my health.

I dreamed last night that an advertisement for Argentine tango was on television.  It was wonderfully done.

The couple was all alone on the dance floor as others watched them.  The camera panned across the adoring faces of those watching.  Then I saw close-ups of the dancers' feet, a shot of their hands together and moments of passion expressed on their faces.  The dancers dramatically displayed well rehearsed moves that needed no lead-and-follow because they had learned patterns they had practiced over and over.

At the end of the advertisement, the tango scenes continued with wonderful moments of ecstasy and grace, but a hurried voice mentioned all the side effects that the Federal Drug Administration had required the tango industry to include:

 "Side effects include loss of friends," the mumbling voice quickly said, "loss of money and harm to others.  Many tango students report that they eventually only horrify good dancers on the social dance floor.  50% of those who buy this product report that they experienced the side effect of endangering others on the dance floor.  The other 50% were simply unaware of how much they were endangering others."

Of course this was only a dream.

But I invite you to watch the faces of those new to tango, watching social tango dancers.  Now look at others who have been dancing for a while also watching.  Everyone seems to be looking at the same couple, who briefly look up to see who is paying attention.  The beginners are watching and hoping that they one day can do the cool moves too. Tango dancers trained in emergency medicine are watching in case they are needed to help those who might become injured.  Others are horrified and are watching as if they were stuck watching a B movie -- tango without laugh-tracks to cue the audience when something is meant to be absurd or funny.

Before the FDA gets involved, don't you think it is time to require a product claim for tango?  For those teachers who are selling showmanship tango for social dancers, shouldn't a side-effects warning be required?   Stage Tango on the social dance floor, like all ego-enhancing drugs, should have a warning.

One must weigh the benefits against the side effects.

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