The Tanguero’s Beatitudes

Okay, you were wondering why I call myself the Unknown Tango Theologian, and so today I am being a bit more overt. As a joke, I once called myself the “Unknown Tango Theologian” at work with some friends. I would write things each morning, such as, “Hells Angels and Heaven’s Angels ride motorcycles. The difference is that Heaven’s Angels never run out of gas.” My colleagues started wanting more tango theology.

But that was just a joke. It hasn’t been a joke at all how tango has given me some great insights that have helped me spiritually and as a therapist, helping souls ripped apart by war. Tango has changing the way I help soldiers with PTSD. I called it the “tango effect” which took me out of the role of being the “leader” in my office and started watching for the tango effect to change both my client and my own life.  I discovered on the dance floor that music, the moment, the woman could lead me to some new inspiration.  And she would say, you led that so nicely.  But in reality, the "tango effect" was leading us both down a wonderful path of discovery.  I started seeing that everywhere, especially with soldiers in my office.
Anyway, some don’t like Tango Theology, and I am hiding from hard-line Druids, Christians, Muslims, etc., who wish to ruin my dancing by killing me. So if you know my real name, please don’t tell anyone at your local institution of religion. Don’t forget the adjective “unknown,” okay?

There are some sacred things that we can dumb down by making fun. But the following “remake” on the Beatitudes is only a fun-loving application of the profundity of the true beatitudes.

The Tanguero’s Beatitudes
Blessed are the poor in fancy steps,
for they will inherit the joy of tango.

Blessed are the tangueros who mourn,
for their tango melancholy shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for their cabeceos shall possess more tandas.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice of righteous floorcraft,
for they shall be satisfied with a perfect milonga.

Blessed are the merciful on the dance floor,
for they will limit the amount of ochos they do in a row.

Blessed are the pure and centered heart,
for they shall stay centered on their partner’s heart.

Blessed are the peace making tangueros,
avoiding collisions on the milonga dance floor,
for they will be called true “milongueros.”

Blessed be those with persecuted feet,
for so persecuted the tangueras of yore their feet.