Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wardrobe Failure during a Tanda!
Being a tango therapist has it's responsibilities. Although all my tango therapy work is pro bono, I think I have found my true calling. Here is my latest therapy session. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
"Dear Tango Therapist: Recently I was at a milonga and a very good dancer from out of town did this twisty move that undid my bra. I feel as if I am pretty liberal, but I was embarrassed and didn't really know what to do or say. What would you suggest in such circumstances?
Very Lucy in Austin"
Dear Very Lucy: I am not sure if I can help you with unlikely future events, but I will submit some solutions to Jay Leno in case he has a live broadcast from Buenos Aires in the future.
Here they are: The Best 10 things to say when one has a Wardrobe Failure during a tanda:
10. "I can't reach this; can you snap this back on gracefully during the next song?" [Don't use this idea during a milonga tanda.]
9. "Now I know what they mean by 'vertical expression of a horizontal desire.'"
8. "That was incredible work -- without any hands. Did you learn that at a practica?"
7. "I was glad to get that off my chest."
6. "I feel a draft; do you?"
5. "We are so glad to have tangeros from out of town with new moves."
4. "This is a first for me. I hope you will remember me."
3. "Restrictions no longer apply."
2. "This reminds me of an old negro spiritual I used to sing in church, called 'Free at Last.'"
And the number 1 thing to say when a bra-strap pops open during a tanda [drum roll]:
1. "Would you call that move a bra-léo, señor?" [Said with a low, sultry voice.]
I am sure that comments will help with excellent ideas in such circumstances; so please leave a comment.